I Do and Do Not

I know two people who are currently putting together wedding plans. I know two people who are currently going through a divorce. Both of the divorcing friends had only been married for a couple years. The lived with their spouses prior to the marriage to make sure things would work out… then they got married and within two years were filing for divorce. My two friends who are getting married are currently living with their future spouses to make sure that it will work out.

My entire family (except me) has a divorce in their past. My parents, my brother, almost all my aunts and uncles; even my grandparents were divorced. So in my family divorce papers are handed out more then Christmas cards.

Now I’m 32 years old. I’ve never been married. I was engaged but as I got closer to the actually wedding, it just didn’t make sense. My ex-fiancée is now my roommate. It works. But people are looking at me funny – not married by 32? Well, there really is only one reason to get married, kids. If you want to have kids, then a marriage is a good idea. But if you are just together for the companionship, then why get married? Marriage has destroyed more good relationships then any strip club ever.

I doubt that my brother came up with this line first, but he is the one who said to me: “Every marriage ends in either death or divorce.” With that in mind, why on Earth would you get married?

At the Buzzer

How demoralizing would it be to take the lead in a game after the first minute and then spend the next 47 minutes holding on to that lead only to lose it in the last second of the game and thus the game itself? If you are the Sacramento Kings, you have to be thinking to yourself that God hates you, or you pissed off someone in another life. That was the exact scenario of game 4 of the playoffs against the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers scored the first points of the game, but never lead again until after the buzzer. The Kings were even up by double digit leads at one point, but with under a minute to go, Kobe pulled them within two. He got the ball and drove to the hoop, no luck. Shaq rebounded but again no luck. Vlade Divac slapped the ball out of the key, trying to mimic his old playing partner Magic Johnson and the classic roll the ball slowly out of bounds to run out the clock. Well Divac’s slap went right to Robert Horrey who put a three pointer from just above the key and the ball was still in mid-air as the buzzer sounded. The hopes of both the Kings and Lakers were riding on that single shot. And it sank for three and the win.

You could see the look on the faces of the Kings: utter disbelief and dejection. Instead of being a commanding 3-1 going back to Sacramento for possibly the final game the series is tied at 2-2 and the Lakers have fresh life. The Kings tried showing false bravado as they claimed Horry’s shot was luck and the Lakers were afraid of them. But reality and the tape say the same thing. Robert Horry has been knocking down those shots for a lot of years, it’s his thing, and the Lakers aren’t afraid of Sacramento; the just aren’t playing well. So tonight we get to see if Sacramento can shake of such a disheartening loss or if the last minute win will wake the sleeping giant that are the Lakers.

Popbot

I figured out what the problem is with my writing... I don't do drugs. I've been trying to figure out why some people get published and others don't, and then I sat down and read Popbot from Sam Kieth and Ashley Woods. The story is about "Kitty" a cat that was the lead singer of a punk rock band, 2215 Funlicker, that has now disappeared and a lot of people want to kill Kitty. He is protected by Popbot, a robot that used to be a roadie for the band. The rest of the book involves a lobotimized Sherlock Holmes, clones of Andy Warhol, samuri robots, samuri/Elvis robots, fembots, feministbots and a sucubus hiding in an old house. This is a trip of a series.

After reading this I started looking at the stuff I write... I have no cats having sex with underaged groupies. I have no time traveling Sherlock Holmes who discovered that he and Moriarty are one in the same. I have normal things, because that's how my brain works. I like the book, I like the story so far and I definitely like the art. But how does Kieth get to that point in his mind that he can put all these really odd elements out there. If you can find this book, buy it.

What's love got to do with it?

Just went and saw Star Wars this morning... and sad to say I caught America's Sweethearts on cable this afternoon. Now why do I tie these two together? Simple. I don't believe the love in either of them. I find is funny how movies just throw out the word 'love' and we are supposed to accept it. Padme tells Annakin that she loves him, but I don't see it. There is no build up. She just does. In America's Sweethearts John Cuzak's character announced his love for Julia Roberts... mind you he spends most of the movie pining away for Catherine Zeta Jones... but all of a sudden the switch is flipped and he's in love with another... but desperately, want to spend the rest of my life with you love.

I'd like to say this doesn't happen. But since my ex-girlfriend is happily and amazingly in love with someone... a month after we broke up... that makes me believe it can happen. But in a weekend? It happens all the time in movies. People discover the one they truly love has been there all along. Well, that's utter bullshit. People only recognize the person that's been there all along when they get dumped. It's called a re-bound. But Hollywood dresses it up like true love and we are supposed to accept it.

Now this may seem like I'm bitter... well I'm not. The truth is Hollywood has been short cutting on the character development for years now. If they want me to accept that two people have fallen in love... give me something to believe... don't just have them say it.

Enough

I wasn't into grunge when it was popular. I was the right age, just didn't like flannel that much and I wanted my music to be more upbeat. But I understood that the bands doing the music were talented. Fine. I liked some of Pearl Jam, Screaming Trees and Nirvana. I was stunned and sadden when Cobain took his life.

But that was a long time ago now.

I live in Orange County, Californa and listen to KROQ. The claim to be the alternative rock station. They do not claim to be a classic rock station. But every day the play Nirvana. I don't mean durning flashback lunches or anything like that. I mean that Nirvana is still in the normal music rotation. Why? I don't hear Pearl Jam every day. Is this only because he tried to swallow a shotgun? I will accept Cobain's place in music history. I will give in that he was a very talented musician and writer. But that's it. His music does not transcend time... I'm tired of hearing it. I can't miss it if it won't go away.

Watching with Blinders On

How do bad movies get made? Didn’t somebody read the script of Batman and Robin and say “Holy Crappy Dialog”. Where were the people telling Travolta that Battlefield Earth sucked and no book by L. Ron Hubbard could convince people otherwise. Somewhere along the way, someone should look at what is being made and just call it crap. How much time and money would that save? Spider-Man made $114,000 million and the reviews are good. Did Sam Raimi have a secret formula that no one else had? Why was The Scorpion King so bad? Why was Jason X even made?

If the theaters expect me to shell out upwards of $9.00 a ticket, then they should make sure they are putting out quality. Along with Spider-Man, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings were good movies. That translates into a box office hit. Too often big budgets lead to bad films. Why? If I went to buy a new car and it was a lemon, I would get my money back. If I buy a new shirt and the buttons fall off, again I get my money back. If I sit down at Burger King and get a Whopper that tastes like a monkey’s ass… you damn well bet I’m going to scream at the counter until my money comes back. So why do we continue to allow Hollywood to crank out bad movies when you know somebody along the way had to see that it sucked.

Hollywood Ending and Deuces Wild opened this last weekend opposite of Spider-Man and everyone knew they had no chance. But both of them made under $3 million. If you read the reviews of Hollywood Ending on https://movies.go.com/reviews/index.html you will see that it has 5 positive reviews, 8 negative and 7 mixed. This tells me that it’s probably a good movie for Woody Allen fans but not for the general public. Woody is an acquired taste. But Deuces Wild has 11 negative reviews and 0 positive and mixed. The quote says “just plain crap”… how does this hit the box offices? From reading this page the only movies worth going to see that are in the top ten are Spider-Man, Changing Lanes and The Rookie… these are the only ones where the positive reviews out weigh the negatives and mixed.

So I still am left with the big question… if reviewers all hate a movie like Life or Something Like It, then how does it get made? Is it a surprise? “Let’s watch the movie we just made… oh my god that sucks!” How about a little quality control in Hollywood? And if anyone EVER lets Joel Schoemacher near a comic book movie again… there will be a riot.

My Thoughts on the Spider

I liked the film... a lot. For me it took the spirit of the character and the important aspects and brought them to life in a story that not only long time fans but new viewers would enjoy.

Maguire was terrific as Parker/Spiderman... I thought he actually came across as a teenager with all the angst and B.S. that goes with it. In the comic he was WAY over the top nerdy and his relationship with Ben and May was too Ozzie and Harriet... but here he is a real teenager with loving guardians but it's not over the top sappy.

Dunst portrayed MJ with a subtlety that I think some of the critics against her missed. With only one or two scenes of her home life, you got to see her "flip the switch" when it was needed to be the party girl even after dealing with something painful. She was being herself and opening up to Peter after her parents were arguing but then Flash pulls up with his new car and she's the party girl again. Also, the last scene in the movie, without a word you can see in her face that she's made the connection and knows Peter is Spiderman... it's very subtle... but awesome.

Dafoe was psychotic. I actually liked his protrayal of the Goblin better then Nicholson's Joker. Not because I thought Nicholson did a bad job, but he was still Nicholson. Dafoe brought across a character that ran both ends of the spectrum. He showed a genuine concern and care for Peter, but a detachment to Harry. Also, something that I haven't heard anyone talk about... would Goblin continued to exist if it wasn't for Spiderman? The first time we see Goblin is when he takes out the Quest test site. Then he is gone until the board of directors threaten his company again. In a way, Goblin was merely Osbourne's anger and self-preservation side coming out. If Spider-Man had not confronted Goblin at the World Unit Fair... would Goblin have returned again? He only came out when Norman was threatened... Spider-Man became a threat so Goblin continued to exist... again, a subtlety that may have been lost.

Franco pulled off Harry for the most part. I think he was a good casting choice as Dafoe's son. My biggest question is does he have the acting chops to pull off the Goblin in a sequel?

Simmons as JJJ was cartoony to the right point. He yelled, screamed and hollared... but when Goblin wanted to know who took the Spidey pics, Johah protected his own. This could have been a throw away character, but instead they developed him in a very short time frame.

I thought the rest of the cast did a fine job as well... no complaints except the receptionist... if she is going to be Betty Brant, she seemed a little too old.

As for the directing. The only time I had a problem with the CGI was when they were doing some of the flips and jumps. They seemed to speed them up so they looked better, but to me that made them look fake. But the parts that looked great to me so out weighed the parts that looked bad...

As for the differences in the movie to the comic. First thing of course are the organic web shooters. I had no problem at all with these once I saw them. The fact that a high school kid was supposed to come up with a super sticky formula that just happened to come out looking like spider webs never worked for me. He could have sold the formula to 3M and pay off the house for Ben and May. Second thought on this... if he got EVERY other power a spider possess, why not web shooters?

Another change I liked. The car-jacking death of Ben. I always had a hard time accepting that a thief that robs a wrestling ticket office would then just happen to break into Parker's house just a little while after running past Parker on the other side of town. This was just too huge of a coincidence for me to accept. But the fact that the Wrestling Arena was around the corner from the library and the thief picks a car with someone sitting in it with the keys... a lot more believable.

One of the things missing from the movie is Spidey's witty diaglog while fighting. But I remember that didn't start right away in the comics... as he got more confident as a hero, his banter picked up. We got glimses of it with the scene with the wrestler and a few other places... but I think it would have been too soon for all the smart ass comments. But #2 better have them.

My biggest hope is that they don't follow the path of the Batman movies and start loading the films down with villains. Rumors are that #2 will have Doc Ock and the Lizard... hopefully they will only use one of them and take the time to develop the charaters as well as they did in this one (which I feel they did a good job of).

My favorite comic movie so far...

Too Perfect

I spent the last weekend at Glamourcon in Los Angeles... right by LAX. This was one of the strangest events I have ever attended. I walk in the front door and found three rows of Playboy Playmates and their Internet counterparts. Circling around these air-brushed beauties were a plethora of photographers and fans all hoping to get a closer look. Now I won't go into many details about the fans, some of who were beyond interesting, but it was the models that struck me as fascinating. Not for their obvious endowments, but the sheer contrast to the fans and the similiarties to all the other models. When I spend time at comic conventions... there is always that comradere between the fans and the creators. The distance between the two is not far and a fan today could be the next big thing tomorrow. But at a model convention, the little blond with the silcon enhancements is about as far away from the guy in the dress shirt and overalls as you can get. Now the thing that caught my eye the most was how little caught my eye. If one of these models walked into a bar late at night, every man in the place would suffer whiplash. But here that same woman just blends into the crowd. I stood by the front door and watched two dozen models walked by and other then hair color they all looked almost identicle. One stood out because she was very tall, and another seemed a little too pregnant to be wearing a mesh shirt... but overall everyone looked the same. Odd weekend.

You're Only As Old As Who You Feel

Just saw some pictures from the red carpet premier of Spider-Man. Included in them were pictures of Kirsten Dunst in a low cut top. The photo give you a lovely view of the sides of her breasts. This took place on her twentieth birthday. Now the problem I have here is Interview with the Vampire. The movie wasn't that long ago. I remember seeing it in the theater. I liked it. Kirsten played the little girl... read that again... little girl. Now I'm staring at a picture of her breasts (okay, the rest of her is in it too). That just kind of made me feel old and creepy. Mind you, it didn't make me stop looking at the picture and if she called up and wanted to go out I would (if you are reading this Kirsten, my number is listed). But there is still that creepy feeling. Kind of like the first time I realized I was ten years older then the centerfold in Playboy.

Fat Tax Dies in Senate

Gee, what a surprise that a tax on the things that make people heavy got voted down by the senate... have you looked at these people? Just remember that Ted Kennedy is part of the senate...

But Who's Counting

I picked up the Spider-Man soundtrack on Tuesday. Overall I like the disc, but I have a couple of complaints. First, they say on the a cover "music inspired by the movie"... yet their is a song on there from Sum 41 that had been done years prior plus 2 versions of the 1960's Spiderman cartoon... if these songs were written prior to the movie being made, HOW could they be inspired by the movie?

The second complaint is that it says 19 tracks... yes there are 19 tracks, but two of them are the theme from the old cartoon. One of them is done by Aerosmith. If I buy and CD and see Aerosmith listed, I want to hear Steven Tyler wail out some rock song with his unique voice... not sing "Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a sprider can."

And while I'm on the old theme... somebody explain this line to me: "Is he strong? Listen bud... he has radio-active blood." What? How does the fact he has radio-active blood make him strong. If I had radio-active blood I would probably be dying. This is bad lyric writing.

The CD is good... some of the songs are great, some are okay... but overall it's a good purchase.